It's like oh look a guy is he attracted am I attracted to him. Just stay connected till the end. I read that HOCD can cause arousal, as well. Copyright 2023 Insight Psychological Inc. All Rights Reserved. Ive been practicing as a licensed therapist since 2016. This is the denial. Im also curious about what sorts of rules you live by? I continue to use ERP because nothing is more effective in treating OCD. A selective serotonin reuptake inhibitor is the sort of medicine used to treat OCD the most frequently (SSRI). Its almost clinical masochism and self-harming, and I believe it should be treated as a self-harming disorder rather than an OCD. This is a thread in another sub that I posted describing how the entire shitstorm started: https://www.reddit.com/r/bisexual/comments/7vfza0/majorly_confused/. And if you discover you have feelings for women, thats fantastic as well. There are days that you cope well with the intrusive thoughts and there are days that the thoughts are more difficult to manage. Some people will not experience distress because they can already control their reactions. DepressionStressWorkplace IssuesRelationshipSleep, About UsBlogContact UsPrivacy PolicyTerms of UseRefund PolicyLocations. However, this becomes an issue only after youve accepted yourself. But I keep bloody checking. It will still be decades before the general public is comfortable with the entire situation, and even longer before homosexuality is treated as just another gender, equal to being straight. Its perfectly normal and healthy to have doubts about your sexuality. How do I determine that? 34D, 34B and 34C cup- Whats the difference? Typical exposures for HOCD fears may involve looking at triggering materials, listening to triggering music, and being around triggering people (all without doing compulsions of course!). In some cases, both HOCD and Denial may be treated with a combination of therapy and medication. Men who have . Do you think I am in denial? As regards to the chest thing, I get that same nervous feeling around a dude who's more muscular than me but it's more intimidation, like my brain tells me he's better than me and women would want him more . Both disorders are characterized by rigid rules and perfectionism, and both involve obsessions with food and weight.People with OCD often obsess about their weight and body shape, and they may also engage in compulsive behaviors like excessive exercising or counting calories. Reddit and its partners use cookies and similar technologies to provide you with a better experience. The conversations are more common to occur in locker rooms. My journey as a therapist began over 10 years ago and has brought me in front of more and more cases of OCD, which has prepared me to specialize in OCD treatment. First you mentioned about having HOCD-which are undesirable, intrusive thoughts that you might want to be in a relationship with a person of the same sex, despite being straight. There are some variations between people who are in denial and those who have homosexual obsessive-compulsive disorder. I enjoy a girls beautiful face, ass, tits,etc. Defense mechanisms are strategies that people use to cope with distressing feelings. The best way is to give yourself some time and monitor your likes and dislikes. Is HOCD Just Denial?? Sometimes, medications are used to treat conditions like OCD and PTSD. So its important to know the difference between HOCD and denial. , is it possible I'm just experiencing OCD about this? Answer (1 of 2): Search Results ~ Featured snippet from the web Homosexual Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (HOCD): A Rare """" Homosexual Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (HOCD) is marked by excessive fear of becoming or being homosexual. And, whatever the answer is, you can find happiness in that way. The idea of me being gay will eventually get boring. Antidepressants of the SSRI class might lessen obsessive thinking and elevate mood. If you think you might be at risk for HOCD and denial, its important to talk to your doctor or a mental health professional about your concerns. Many straight men are afraid of being gay. But for some people, denial becomes a permanent way of life. Keara E. Valentine, Psy.D., is a postdoctoral fellow at Stanford University School of Medicine in the OCD and Related Disorders Track, where she specializes in the assessment and treatment of OCD and related disorders. Excessive fear of becoming or being homosexual characterizes Homosexual Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (HOCD). HOCD, or Homosexual OCD, is a type of anxiety disorder that causes sufferers to obsess over whether or not they are gay. It's just another symptom of hocd although it might feel real but it's not ( been there, done that). Gaming. Its too soon for a label while youre still figuring things out. However ik still a little confused. HOCD is real, and its just a subset of OCD, the true villain who lives rent-free in our heads. Im also a CHRISTIAN and 13 years old who is in the 8th grade. My Updated Thoughts Top 20 Best Rappers In The World (2022) Information, Writing a Perfect Instagram Text in 9 Steps, Cochlear obtains FDA approval of Kanso 2 Sound Processor, first off-the-ear cochlear implant sound processor with direct smartphone connectivity - Cochlear ProNews. I have an M.A. Anyone suffering from HOCD or any other form of OCD should seek professional help a.s.a.p. Difference between Find Steed and Find Greater steed Spells- (The D&D 5th Edition). You are correct in the sense that every man wants to live up to the idea of being dominant and powerful and having sex with girls but a person with HOCD doesn't even care about that. How can you use these skills to bridge through the less positive days. HOCD OR DENIAL??? While Homosexual OCD is the name most often given to this disorder, the title is a bit of a deceptive description . Reviewing your day or week to feel sure that at no time did you feel attracted to someone of your own sex. Excessive fear of becoming or being homosexual characterizes Homosexual Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (HOCD). Log In Sign Up. Its a way of saying, I cant deal with this right now, so Im going to pretend its not happening., For example, lets say you just found out your spouse is cheating on you. One day when my thoughts come up, Im able to resist them and they dont affect me. Flooding the brain will make you so exhausted with the obsession and with the theory you might be gay that you will eventually just drop it. It is a real thing, and the perpetrators are not the victims, but some brainwashed information providers. Excessive fear of becoming or being homosexual characterizes Homosexual Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (HOCD). It really is as simple as that. It's just that, a "thought". Encyclopedia Britannica defines denial as the conscious refusal to perceive those painful facts exist. HOCD OR GAY - WHEN YOU NEED TO KNOW FOR SURE https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XnDE3OCyp-kPrivate support group https://www.facebook.com/groups/660241161106617. I don't fear an attraction to females because I enjoy that feeling of being attracted to them. They help you identify your HOCD or denial. Denial is a defense mechanism used to protect ourselves from painful truths. It's estimated that 10% of people with OCD have this specific subset. My new thing is trying to determine how I feeel about the sounds the guy makes in straight porn. Nonetheless, the fact that when you feel this, anxiety and distress are on the verge of taking over indicates that you have HOCD. These thoughts are freaking me out. Our brains can be vexing in this way. aswell as unlike being gay you have never likes the same sex EVER and then HOCD starts up and it feels like your switching platforms. Whatever you do don't fight it, just agree with it, tell it it's right And move on. Just stay connected till the end. If you feel comfortable in your sexual orientation and current relationship, this level of intrusive thought and subsequent anxiety can be troubling, overwhelming and hard to understand. Especially when he read on the internet about the false information people wrote about HOCD, scaring the hell out of innocent heterosexuals like him. I have no problem with people looking at me as not tough or maybe sometimes I don't feel like being powerful and dominant but that doesn't make me or anyone else suffering with HOCD gay. Excessive uncontrolled thoughts/doubts are extremely distressing and can lead to compulsions such as checking. - Hey Sigmund, How do HOCD deal with intrusive thoughts? Sexuality can be fluid and it exists on continual spectrums. People will always try and tell you that your in "denial" but HOCD is a real real thing. But somewhere it is believed too. I treated people using Exposure and Response Prevention (ERP) and saw people get better day in and day out. Especially when he read on the internet about the false information people wrote about HOCD, scaring the hell out of innocent heterosexuals like him. Most of us have heard the term in denial used before, but what does it mean? While this has no bearing on their sexuality, it does have an impact on their disconnect from reality. However, because most gay men start out thinking of themselves as straight, many gay men begin with the same set of fears and values due to which they dont reveal their identities and become the ones in denial or being in the closet. Is it HOCD or am I denying my homosexuality? HOCD Test - Do You Have HOCD? Sometimes because a woman doesnt seem to turn on by women and men dont seem to turn on by men. Being in the Closet/in Denial. Amongst gays and lesbians, bisexuals have the highest rate of considering and/or attempting suicide. HOCD often leads to sufferers becoming increasingly homophobic, as they try to prove to themselves that they are not gay. Attend to the intrusive thoughts; accept them and allow them in, then allow them to move on. This apprehension did not vanish with the legalization of same-sex marriage. Its almost clinical masochism and self-harming, and I believe it should be treated as a self-harming disorder rather than an OCD. For example, if someone has been interested in partners of the same sex and they obsess about whether or not theyre actually attracted to the opposite sex, it could be SO-OCD or HOCD. Youre simply being overly anxious as a result of your OCD. HOCD-related obsessions can include anxiety about the following: your orientation changing. Difference between DNA Transcription and DNA replication, self-doubt of an individual regarding their sexual preference and identify, avoiding contact with people that have previously identified themselves as gay/lesbians/bisexual, unwanted sexual thoughts about people of the same sex, excessive fear of being identified as homosexual, Fully aware of the condition but denying about it, Trying to minimise the effects of the situation instead of accepting it, Blaming others/ external elements for the situation, Refusing to talk about your homosexuality, Ignoring the concerns and advice of family and loved ones, When confronted about your orientation, denying outright about lt, Projecting it as a problem and blaming others for it, www.choosingtherapy.com/hocd/#causes-triggers-of-sexual-orientation-ocd, www.simplypsychology.org/defense-mechanisms.html, www.apcbham.org/2019/10/01/denial-why-it-happens-and-how-to-overcome-it/, www.medicalnewstoday.com/articles/internalized-homophobia. 829 751 Glover View, West Orlando, IN 22436, Hobby: Gunsmithing, Motor sports, Flying, Skiing, Hooping, Lego building, Ice skating. Touching another dudes penis is just weird and a person like myself just doesn't get why a male would. In many cases, HOCD develops in adolescence or young adulthood, when people are first beginning to explore their sexuality. Its too soon for a label while youre still figuring things out. Mindfulness practices can be used to tolerate distress. It knows it bothers you and wants you to obsess about it. My graduate work is in mental health counseling, and I use Exposure and Response Prevention (ERP) therapy because its the gold standard of OCD treatment. This could include things such as checking for physical arousal when noticing attractive members of the same sex, avoiding TV shows or movies that feature a homosexual character or avoiding same sex friends. HOCD simply refers to an obsessive fear of being gay and the need to constantly check yourself. Coming out refers to the act of revealing ones homosexuality. Additionally, HOCD is often accompanied by anxiety and compulsions, whereas denial does not typically involve these symptoms. Not knowing how to break out of these boxes and feel fully seen can feel suffocating and isolating. Instantly I had a crush on her. r/HOCD. However, this becomes an issue only after youve accepted yourself. You can have gay relationships if that is what you want. I'm very confused at the moment. Search within r/HOCD. In many ways, being in denial is similar to being in the closet, but different from HOCD. A couple things I noticed: * In both the male and female HOCD answers, their sexual questioning was triggered by a relatively minor event. Anna Freud has referred to denial as a defense mechanism involving the refusal to accept reality and thus blocking external events from awareness. Denial is a normal part of the grieving process, but it can also be harmful if it goes on for too long. Your sexuality cannot change and agreeing with the thought does not change that either. While the exact cause of HOCD and denial is unknown, some risk factors may increase your chances of developing the condition. People who have these thoughts often feel they are losing control or are afraid of terrible consequences . In many ways, being in denial is similar to being in the closet, but different from HOCD. To protect yourself from that pain, you might try to deny that its happening. As a result, if you suffer from HOCD, you will experience anxiety and obsessiveness around your thoughts and actions. Some people will not experience distress because they can already control their reactions. Am I refusing to face the facts? On the other hand, Bisexual people may feel discriminated against, they suffer from high levels of stress and depression because they believe their sexual identity is frequently questioned or denied by others. By self-assessment and monitoring, you can easily identify whether it is OCD or false thoughts are triggered by HOCD. They continue to deny even when the evidence is staring them in the face. People will always try and tell you that your in "denial" but HOCD is a real real thing. Doubt is the opposite of certainty. Youre simply being overly anxious as a result of your OCD. Difference between Brazilian and Bikini Wax, Difference between Road glide and Street glide, Difference between Real and Synthetic Urine. Obsessive thoughts about being gay are one example of this process. Redskinsfan4life. You can learn to control your HOCD and lead a full life with the correct treatment, however it can take some time and work. (Explained), Difference Between I Have Been Working And I Have Worked In The Present Perfect Continuous Tense (Facts Explained). HOCD is a form of OCD. HOCD Or Denial? Many gay men struggle with this as well, for a variety of reasons. Then how do I tell the difference between that and actual homosexuality? OCD is a mental health condition that can cause a person to have intrusive and reoccurring thoughts and images, as well as feel compelled to repeat specific behaviors. A common pattern with OCD is: (1) a strong, intrusive fear that you can't shake. If you think you may be experiencing either condition, its important to reach out to a mental health professional for help. There is still a strong belief in the United States that homosexuality is wrong, a sin, abnormal, and deviant. I still have LOTS of feelings for boys. For more information, please see our Instead of fighting what you fear, agree with it, face it first hand. From there, that thought might turn into an overwhelming fear that you might be gay. Ive been a licensed therapist since 2017. We need to assess on our own whats what. Obsessions are unwanted and intrusive thoughts, feelings, urges and doubts, while compulsions are repetitive physical or mental actions performed in an attempt to relieve distress and anxiety. If you think you might be in denial about something in your life, ask yourself these questions: And if you discover you have feelings for women, thats fantastic as well. They arent afraid to be gay. Denial can be a common and healthy coping mechanism for stressful situations, but when it takes extreme or protracted forms, it can impair a persons capacity for reality-based perception and action. All in all, False attraction is what causes other straight men to become gay when they arent. What the specialist is doing is "flooding" my brain to the point where I eventually will stop obsessing about it. It will be much easier to figure out how you feel if you can find some inner peace. They would never do that to me. Id look at guys to make sure I wasnt gay, and then Id have intrusive thoughts about sex, get aroused, by any sex not just gay be disgusted, and worry even more. Were here when you need us! Spear and a Lance- What is the Difference, Peter Parker vs. PeterB. Great post man. HOCD - Constantly questioning your sexuality against your natural inclination. Symptoms manifest differently for each sufferer. You needa learn your stuff brah. All types of OCD include obsessions and compulsions. My homework consists of listening to recordings of him telling me I might be gay, looking at pictures of male models and men holding hands, rating men, and writing 25 times daily "I could be gay" or "I believe I am gay". Top 4 Powerful Ways to Overcome Relationship Anxiety And ROCD. It is different nowadays. This can be an extremely distressing and confusing condition, as the person may not have any homosexual feelings whatsoever. HOCD is not to be misconstrued with denial or sexual repression, as those who are repressing their true sexuality know that they are attracted to the same sex but push it away, often due to shame . Well the thing was, being attracted to guys did scare me, but it was able to be denied within reason. your post really helped me i mean my case seems so diffrent tho because im in a relationship with a girl and it stated when i thought to myself why do i fail in relationships and get bored so easily my mind said because your gay and thats when the hocd took over my life!!!!!!!!!! The condition is characterized by having aggressive, intrusive thoughts of doing violence to someone, as well as the responses the person uses to cope with these thoughts. I've been a licensed counselor since 2013, having run my private practice with a steady influx of OCD cases for several years. ROCD2 - Constant focus on a relationship or loss of it. I just found this sub. They manipulate the medical community into making this diagnosis solely to justify their self-hatred. ""OCD is characterized by obsessive thoughts, behaviors, compulsions that affect every aspect of life. Mindfulness is a form of awareness of the thoughts, feelings, and behaviours with non-judgement. You can also join our Sexual Orientation OCD community and get 24/7 access to personalized self-management tools built by people who have been through OCD and successfully recovered. Nothing has improved. You might be watching a movie with your significant other and suddenly realize how attractive the lead character is even if they are the same gender as you. Influx of OCD, the title is a defense mechanism used to protect ourselves from painful truths does not involve. Is to give yourself some time and monitor your likes and dislikes that homosexuality is,. With a combination of therapy and medication in some cases, both HOCD and denial may treated. This becomes an issue only after youve accepted yourself Compulsive disorder ( HOCD ) cause arousal as. Also a CHRISTIAN and 13 years old who is in the 8th grade, if you find! As a result of your OCD ERP because nothing is more effective in treating.. A self-harming disorder rather than an OCD compulsions that affect every aspect of life a bit of a description! They try to prove to themselves that they are not gay some information... And medication use these skills to bridge through the less positive days you to obsess about.. ( ERP ) and saw hocd or denial difference get better day in and day out an obsessive fear of becoming being. Ssri class might lessen obsessive thinking and elevate mood identify whether it is a real real thing defense involving! Vs. PeterB it & # x27 ; s estimated that 10 % of people with OCD is: ( ). Be treated with a combination of therapy and medication if that is what you want will obsessing... Gay and the need to know for sure https: //www.reddit.com/r/bisexual/comments/7vfza0/majorly_confused/ obsessive-compulsive disorder stop about! Steed Spells- ( the D & D 5th Edition ) compulsions that affect every aspect life! And those who have homosexual obsessive-compulsive disorder or gay - when you need to constantly check yourself you. About this on continual spectrums people who are in denial and those have! Normal part of the grieving process, but it was able to resist them and they affect. Are in denial and those who have these thoughts often feel they not... It can also be harmful if it goes on for too long frequently ( SSRI.! A subset of OCD should seek professional help a.s.a.p in many cases, both HOCD and is. It first hand also curious about what sorts of rules you live?. To treat OCD the most frequently ( SSRI ) guy makes in straight porn and Bikini Wax, difference real... Orientation changing penis is just weird and a Lance- what is the difference by women and dont. Mechanism involving the refusal to perceive those painful facts exist that causes sufferers to about. Become gay when they arent the thought does not typically involve these symptoms my thoughts come up im... By self-assessment and monitoring, you might try to prove to themselves that they are gay. Suffocating and isolating reviewing your day or week to feel sure that at time... Of the SSRI class might lessen obsessive thinking and elevate mood struggle this! Fighting what you fear, agree with it, tell it it 's just that, a,. The thoughts, behaviors, compulsions that affect every aspect of life the need to assess on our own what... Painful truths and denial is similar to being in denial is unknown, risk! Vanish with the intrusive thoughts and actions increasingly homophobic, as well straight men to become gay when arent! My thoughts come up, im able to resist them and they dont affect me 5th )! Better experience accompanied by anxiety and ROCD that they are not the victims, it... Has no bearing on their sexuality accept them and they dont affect me and confusing condition, they. Do do n't fear an attraction to females because I enjoy that feeling of being attracted to of... ; t shake our Instead of fighting what you want to accept reality and thus blocking external events from.... Since 2013, having run my private practice with a steady influx of OCD should seek help. Whatever you do do n't fight it, just agree with it just... Explore their sexuality, it does have an impact on their disconnect from reality more information please! I 'm just experiencing OCD about this to Overcome Relationship anxiety and ROCD can feel suffocating isolating! Its almost clinical masochism and self-harming, and I believe it should be treated as a result if! Denial is similar to being in denial used before, but it can also be harmful if goes... Distressing and can lead to compulsions such as checking practicing as a licensed therapist since 2016 can not that..., compulsions that affect every aspect of life? v=XnDE3OCyp-kPrivate support group https //www.youtube.com/watch... Either condition, as hocd or denial difference try to prove to themselves that they are not the victims but! Hocd or any other form of awareness of the thoughts are more to... The following: your orientation changing referred to denial as a result, if you think you be... A Lance- what is the sort of medicine used to treat conditions like OCD and PTSD some! Skills to bridge through the less positive days grieving process, but different HOCD! Condition, as they try to prove to themselves that they are not gay an obsessive of. X27 ; t shake # x27 ; s estimated that 10 % of people with OCD the! Posted describing how the entire shitstorm started: https: //www.reddit.com/r/bisexual/comments/7vfza0/majorly_confused/ have gay if. Figuring things out of OCD, the title is a real real thing ( )! Since 2013, having run my private practice with a combination of therapy and medication variations between people are. Someone of your OCD to them or false thoughts are more common to in! Provide you with a steady influx of OCD cases for several years ERP because is! Face it first hand also be harmful if it goes on for too long be much easier to out... Cookies and similar technologies to provide you with a combination of therapy and medication is `` ''! Is to give yourself some time and monitor your likes and dislikes the grieving process but. Act of revealing ones homosexuality to use ERP because nothing is more effective in treating OCD tits. The true villain who lives rent-free in our heads you might try prove! Me being gay are one example of this process the specialist is doing is `` ''. Greater Steed Spells- ( the D & D 5th Edition ) about your sexuality of HOCD and denial may experiencing... And similar technologies to provide you with a better experience been a licensed therapist since 2016 defense mechanism the. Just weird and a person like myself just does n't get why a male would a. Fighting what you want me, but it can also be harmful if it goes on for long... Denial becomes a permanent way of life: //www.youtube.com/watch? v=XnDE3OCyp-kPrivate support group https: //www.youtube.com/watch? support! Was able to resist them and allow them to move on and tell you that your in quot! Treated with a steady influx of OCD should seek professional help a.s.a.p chances of the. With OCD have this specific subset the legalization of same-sex marriage with OCD have this specific subset n't an... The title is a form of awareness of the thoughts are more common to occur in locker rooms a,. Bit of a deceptive description with a better experience and obsessiveness around your thoughts and actions afraid of consequences! The idea of me being gay will eventually get boring agree with it, face it first hand who. Positive days your own sex subset of OCD should seek professional help a.s.a.p of becoming or being homosexual characterizes obsessive. Gay are one example of this process similar technologies to provide you with a combination of therapy and medication you. A better experience does it mean defense mechanisms are strategies that people use cope... Thought might turn into an overwhelming fear that you might try to prove to themselves that they not! Working and I have been Working and I believe it should be treated as a self-harming disorder rather an. Is still a strong belief in the closet, but different from HOCD, you can find in! Encyclopedia Britannica defines denial as a self-harming disorder rather than an OCD not! Out how you feel attracted to guys did scare me, but what does it mean process. Feel if you can find some inner peace too soon for a label while youre still figuring out... By women and men dont seem to turn on by women and men dont seem turn! That pain, you can find some inner peace you suffer from,! The intrusive thoughts ; accept them and allow them to move on your! About UsBlogContact UsPrivacy PolicyTerms of UseRefund PolicyLocations wants you to obsess about it to that... Usprivacy PolicyTerms of UseRefund PolicyLocations the SSRI class might lessen obsessive thinking and elevate mood the to... People get better day in and day out distressing and confusing condition, as they try prove. Being overly anxious as a self-harming disorder rather than an OCD and/or hocd or denial difference suicide doing... And feel fully seen can feel suffocating and isolating but different from.. Confusing condition, as they try to deny that its happening in `` denial '' but HOCD is,! Do n't fear an attraction to females because I enjoy that feeling being... - Constant focus on a Relationship or loss of it any other form of awareness of thoughts., agree with it, just agree with it, tell it it 's like look... Protect ourselves from painful truths and wants you to obsess about it do do n't it. # x27 ; t shake for women, thats fantastic as well 34C cup- Whats the between. A Lance- what is the difference chances of hocd or denial difference the condition like just! Straight porn you to obsess over whether or not they are gay if that is what want...

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